Amnesty

I was mugged yesterday. And it would have ended pretty badly had things gone any differently from how they did. 

Having travelled by the afternoon train to Nairobi from the Coast, I got into the city fairly late. The matatu from the terminus dropped us off at Railways even though the tout had wooed us into it with a promise that he’d take us up to Commercial. So I had to find my way across town at 8 p.m. so as to get a matatu going home.

Suddenly, a young man who was quite disheveled approached and fist bumped me, as is common among us young people. He didn't stop there though; he inched closer, pretended he wanted to start a conversation, then flashed a broken bottle from underneath his jacket. He then calmly told me that his friends were behind me and that I should keep on walking. I was petrified. These were uncharted waters. In fact, before, I had only read and heard of muggings.

So the guy walked me to the front of The Kenya National Archives and brazenly demanded that I 'gift' him something he could share with his friends. In fact he gave me a figure and said that if I acted stupidly, he'd stab me.

The feeling that ran through my body was surprisingly familiar. I remember it from my first heartbreak. And also that one day I had really flunked a really important job interview. It was a mixture of fear  and helplessness, with a dash of malice towards the originator of my woes. My hands were trembling like crazy as I emptied my pockets, with my mind firmly fixated on the broken shard that was ready to slice my neck or abdomen, or even gouge my eye, should I ‘act stupidly’. A group of young men and women an arm stretch away stared horrifiedly.

The young man took my money and casually joined the mass of unaware, laughing passersby going who knows where. Then my heart remembered its job. Boiling blood raced through my veins. Dazedly, I found my way to the matatu stage and hopped into an empty one that was even still pulling in.

I always thought I was too smart to be mugged. I have loved ones who’ve been mugged and I always imagined such instances could be avoided. The world is a funny place. By the way, in the train I had really reprimanded myself for not writing as much as I wish to - in fact, for not writing at all - so I came up with a stupid creative story that I had promised myself to write the instant I got home. But as I neared Nairobi I could feel the familiar chokehold of procrastination start to creep in. I then decided to not write until the following day (today) but I clearly knew where that would lead to. Then the mugging happened.

In the matatu, rage revved in my chest. I felt like doing bad things to that young man. I, honestly, actually hoped that one of those killer cops I read about on Facebook bumps into him and shows him the wrong in his ways. I wished that he die. Painfully. Then a thought crossed my mind. A very very stupid thought.

I thought to myself; Xave, you know how you feel because that dumbass has wronged you, imagine that's the exact feeling  God has  every time you sin! That pain, that rage, that feeling of detest and weakness and helplessness, that’s kinda how God also feels when you sin against Him. He feels bad when we sin.  Like for real! I had nearly been stabbed a few minutes before and that’s all my brain could conjure up. But how true that was!

***Genesis 1:26-27***

Then God said, "Let us make humankind in our image, after our likeness, so they may rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move on the earth." God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.

That thought wasn’t going away, try as I did to water it down. However, when I got home and was about to sleep, I thought some more about it. God basically has a personality! Just like you and I. Scripture is rife with different showings of His different emotions – his love, joy, sorrow, compassion etc.- and we also read of how He specifically feels towards sin. A fine example is how He felt towards the Israelites’ sin in the desert in Deuturonomy 9. He speaks of how His anger was stirred up by the Israelites stubbornness and rebellion. That shows that He actually has feelings, and bad ones too, when He is wronged.

Yet another would be Genesis 6:5-6. God was so worked up with mankind’s sinful nature that He actually regretted creating them and, in anger, decided to wipe all of them out! Psalms 5:4-5, Psalms 7:11 and Romans 1:18 also show how sin makes God feel. It riles Him up pretty good.

Then, while in the matatu, another crazy, yet quite fascinating thought fizzed in my mind: But Xave, imagine even after making God feel exactly how you feel right now, if you ask Him to forgive you, He does it INSTANTLY, and even kinda forgets it! Like He doesn't hold it against you ever again! He interacts with you like you've never done anything wrong ever!

The crazy thoughts didn't stop there I'm afraid. They went on and asked me to say, audibly, that I forgive that young man! Like for real! Guys, it's 9 p.m. on Friday night in a mat and a voice in my head asks me to audibly forgive someone who held a shard to my rib! Everyone would definitely think I was drunk! But I did. Imagine! haha. And even went ahead and asked God to sustain him, transform him and use him! And then I repented of my many sins like crazy! The repenting and the other words were inaudible though, lol.

Honestly people, how many times are we as believers always reminded to forgive those who wrong us and we usually quickly do it with our lips, but our hearts are honestly wishing terrible things to those who offend us? I frankly have experienced that countless times. The crazy thoughts that fleeted in my mind however made me really think about God’s really amazing forgiving nature.

As long as we repent, God forgives and forgets!

***1 John 1:9***

But if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness. 

***Jeremiah 31:34***

"People will no longer need to teach their neighbors and relatives to know me. For all of them, from the least important to the most important, will know me," says the Lord. "For I will forgive their sin and will no longer call to mind the wrong they have done." 

On the contrary though, until we repent, God actually remembers the sin we commit, and would actually hold it against us. Ezekiel 18 talks of how God was changing how He dealt with sin. Initially God used to punish generations for an individual’s sin, but He decided to change His approach of dealing with sin. He started dealing with individuals. Everyone would, henceforth, carry their own cross. Verse 24 brings up an interesting perspective to how God deals with sin. You sin, you become liable for punishment, and because He says numerous times in His word that He has to punish sin, He has to live up to His word. And He assures that He will punish you. In His exact words – You will die!

Thankfully though, He did die for your and my past, present and future sins, and simply offers forgiveness to those who accept it! 

***1 John 2:2***

(My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin.) But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous One, and He himself is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for our sins but also for the whole world. 

***Ephesians 1:7***

In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace. 

Do you understand what this means? That sin you will commit tomorrow, God sorted it! As in God judged and paid for sin that you haven’t even committed yet! Sounds really crazy, right? But it is true. If you accept His forgiveness, you can live without any pressure from anyone no matter how far you fall as long as you trust God to keep on working in you so as to transform you into what He wants you to be. 

"What kind of love is this, friends? What kind of love is so big, so without bounds, that He would come, He would want, He would want to do so much to rescue people who wanted nothing to do with Him? Who fought Him even when He came to cleave us from hell?
What kind of love is it that sees us in our filth, comes to rescue us, sees us resist that rescue, but continues to rescue us anyway? What foolishness is this? That He would come offer us rescue and we would say, "No!" Why? What are we gaining by our resistance? Oh,
how glorious He is, that He saw you like that and didn't give up!"

Wolvesat The Gate -The Father’s Bargain