Abridged Retribution

Bridges fascinate me. The engineering behind the arches and pillars always leaves me awed and enthralled. Not the mathematics though! Oh me and math have some evils yet to be sorted out, but all the same, contraptions tearing through rivers, valleys and oceans have this thing over me that I just cannot seem to lay my finger on. Enchantment, maybe.

The earth is graced by marvelous bridges, from the stunning Sydney Harbor Bridge to the not so famous Isiukhu Bridge. Bridges have existed forever, with cavemen felling logs over streams as they desperately fled from dinosaurs. Prehistoric man went one better using boulders instead, still, a rose by any other name. Just like wine, the know-how on bridges has improved greatly, with beauties being constructed with every rising sun.

Chinese engineers have for long jostled against their world counterparts to gain their widely acclaimed stature as the best in the world (That’s just me, he-he). Their American adversaries were trounced, finally, with Jiaozhou Bay Bridge’s fruition. An engineering feat in every sense, Jiaozhou was officially opened in June 2011, with the monstrosity defying many odds. It is just mind blowing! Spanning 26.4 miles in length, Jiaozhou is the longest sea bridge in the world and took a startling four years to complete. With 5,200 pillars, the marvel cost $2.3billion, and with its earthquake and typhoon proof certification, it beats the American built Lake Pontchartrain Course Way Bridge by a little over two miles.

The Americans did not welcome Jiaozhou contentedly, pointing out bends on the bridge and even calling the Chinese ‘a bunch of wannabes’! Ha-ha. Well, the wannabes are yet at it again, with reports filtering through of a longer bridge’s construction already happening. I’d say the two enginei (engineers from different countries, he-he) have a hilarious show on, but the Chinese have one hand on the ‘trophy’ already, with the longest bridge in the world accolade firmly in their grasp.

Speaking of bridges, I’ve been burning quite a number lately. My long time means of getting back at people who smash to smithereens my heart or take me for granted, has been snubbing them good. Give them a cold shoulder if need may. I’m told it’s childish but I’ll take that to getting stabbed on the back a second time. I take it’s a more fair way of getting even, Dantes, from The Count of Monte Cristo, coming to mind. Having these canny plans that are very much involving and need hard-thinking is something I really suck at. Add that to anger and angst and suddenly, watching soap operas gets more appealing. Shakespeare perfected what Dumas begun in ‘Hamlet’, though our star here lost his life and mother too in his quest for vengeance.

The long process involved in conjuring up fancy ways to hit back usually through debilitating ones opponent tends to leave me bored with the same storyline being replicated all over our T.V shows. However, I have to hand it to them, Emily Thorne and Nolan Ross’s theatrics have had me glued on my couch after quite some time - Seriously check out Revenge. It’s that good! I’m not against lengthy bloody retributions (my faith is though :). Knock yourself out if you feel like, but where I grew up, you wreck my toy car (they were made out of wires stolen from chain link fences, so toy car does not really fit their description but I’ll use it anyway), I puncture your new BMX bicycle’s tyre and also pour muddy water on you (then you’ll have your mum to face).  You build a long bridge, I send man to Mars. An eye for an eye the good book says. Getting into elongated spats simply makes the satisfying revengy feeling lose its oomph! And also, careful planning often results in many lives, some innocent, being lost. I hate killings by the way. They are awfully atrocious!

I am currently severing ties with a close friend, reasons withheld, and after perfecting that art on old flames and annoying people I’ve happened to meet, I can confidently report that it’s flowing steadily and is right on plan. MUAHAHAHA!!! If you’d love some tips on how to, look no farther. I am a master at it right now I think.  I can burn that bridge for you.